Parallel Universes...

...or is it universi?  Anyway, Mr. P and I were talking about them the other day after watching a Justice League movie that Lucas is fond of.  He says that they some people say that they really do exist.  So if they do, there is another me out there who is drinking tea right now instead of coffee.  And another one who isn't drinking a beverage at all.  And another one who is on Facebook instead of writing this.  And another one who is playing with her kids.  And another one who is still at work because it's tax season and she stuck with accounting in college instead of changing her major.  And on and on and on.  Wouldn't it be hella cool to be able to visit these parallel worlds, just for curiosity's sake?  It just boggles my mind to think of how one seemingly benign decision can set the course for the future or alter it.  Or change nothing at all.

High 4?

Why do cartoon characters only have 4 fingers on each hand?  I noticed this a while back while watching Family Guy and figured it was just the way the illustrators draw them.  Then I noticed a lot of other cartoons that do the same thing.  Why?  To use less ink?  It's easier to draw 4 as opposed to 5?  It's Cartoon Law? This, folks, is what keeps my up at night.

This is what we're flaming about today.

Photo courtesy of Frito Lay

 

 

 

 

Seriously, could we worry about more important stuff in our schools, please?   Looks like the food police have laid down the law at yet another school in the U.S.(Read the article here.) Now, I don't believe in sending my kids a bag of chips and a soda for lunch and call it good, but really?  Banning Flaming Cheetos?  Not plain Cheetos, those are, apparently, fair game.  Are they against gay chips? Just kidding. Which is, in all seriousness, what I thought the argument against them was going to be about.  But no, they don't want orange cheese dust on their walls, and they're nutritional devoid.  I can think of several products that are messier and just as void of nutrients as Cheetos. 

The Prodigal Blogger Returns

I have a Swagbucks widget at the bottom of this blog which I check from time to time to see if there are any Swagcodes to be found.   I looked at the date on my last post.  It was in August of 2011.  Guess I've been a tad lazy keeping this thing up!  Ahem.  Instead of just jumping in like I've never left I'm going to use this time to say "I'm baaaaaaack!!!!"  Did ya miss me?  All 2 of you who read this?(my sister and some person from Russia.....)   I'm just going to start fresh.   I renamed this blog a while back to better reflect what it's about, and this is what I never got around to say:

I would really like to get into blogging more but what in the world do I write about?  I'm not crafty, so I have nothing there.   I'm an OK cook but I don't Iron Chef anything too earth-shattering.  I bake, but it's always something that I've stolen from  discovered on Pinterest.  I'm a mom, but I wouldn't take advice from a parent who lets her kids watch Family Guy.  So what do I really have to offer?  Well, nothing really.  But.  I do have a lot of weird random thoughts that pop up from time to time(In the shower, at work, at 3 am when the craziest ideas make sense) and I need a place to put them all down.  I can't even count the number of million dollar ideas that have just fallen out of my head because I didn't take the time to get it all down.  That, to me, is tragic.   So I'm going to blog at least every other day and if it gets read, fabulous!  And if not, then I have a place to put down my ideas that are going to make me MILLIONS.(Next time you see a Roomba snowblower, think of me.)

Just a few things that I've learned...

See this little guy?  He's covered in chocolate.  And he's happy.  What happens when you run out of chocolate?  He turns into an absolute BEAST.  He used to be addicted to Hershey Kisses but since it's summer he has moved on to fudge pops.  So this is what I've learned this summer....

• Keep fudge pops in stock AT ALL TIMES.  Running out will cause a frantic phone call to your husband at work(with a screaming child in the background)to plead with him to make a fudge pop run.  Alternately, Lucas will bring you Lean Pockets or steak from the freezer in lieu of pops.
• Popsicle sugar free pops are your friend.  They somehow attach the individually wrapped packages in pairs so that means when Lucas brings one to me to open, he always brings one for me. Which brings me to the next point...
• Lucas can open the freezer quite easily but he can't always be depended upon to close it.  Always check to make sure the freezer door is closed.
• Buy a freezer door lock and the freezer raiding can be avoided.
• This light bulb went off after a love of corn dogs was discovered:  food on a stick!  Genius!  I see shish kebabs in our future.

Vocalpoint Love

Do you like juice? How 'bout them kids?  Well Vocalpoint is giving away this sweet little freebie:  Mots for Tots juice!  You have to sign up to be a Vocalpoint member.  I've been a member for almost 3 years and they give away some pretty nice swag!  I'm not big on posting freebies and the like, since there's about a bazillion of those on the net already and I certainly don't have anything to add to the mix, but once in a while I come across one that I like to share that you may not have seen.

Disclaimer:  This is my own opinion and I am not paid to pimp out Mott's or Vocalpoint.  I just happen to love Vocalpoint and want to share the fabulousness!

I Suck!

No, I don't really think I suck.  I'm awesome.(hehehe) But today at breakfast, I thought that that was what Lucas thought of himself.  Lucas was in his booster seat eating his eggs and I was putting a load of laundry in.  Lucas was jibber-jabbering and here's the convo: 

L: I suck!
K: What?
L: I suck!!!
K: Aww Lucas, stop putting yourself down.
L: I SUCK!!!!
K:(after realizing what he was trying to say) Oh, you're stuck!!

I then got him unstuck and realized 2 things. One, that his self-esteem is, in fact, not in question.  Two, that I need to brush up on toddlerese.

Random Garrettisms.

I think part of the reason why I love being a mom is that the kids say some of the funniest things I've ever heard.  Well, Lucas isn't talking in complete sentences yet but I'm sure he'll come up with some good ones soon.  Anyway, Garrett has come up with some pretty good ones lately.  Here they are, in the order that they came out of my head:

• "Lunch SUCKED today!" This was in reference to an apparently crappy lunch that the school served that day.  This was the first thing he said to me when I picked him up from daycare that afternoon.  There was no "hi, Mom." or "I have math homework tonight.", just the declaration of a bad meal.
• "Whoever decided that chicken was edible is awesome.  And whoever decided that lobster was edible is awesome too."
• "When I'm older, do you think I should I use an internet dating site?"  Of course my answer to this was "Um, no." his reply: "Oh, so internet dating sites are for losers?"

Bumper Sticker Sighting

I hate to go anywhere near a grocery store on the weekends, but the fridge needed replenishing so I dragged my butt to Hannaford to pick up some rations.  I don't like bumper stickers for my own vehicles but I do enjoy reading other people's bumpers.  So after getting said rations I was wheeling my cart through the parking lot when I saw a "bumper sticker"(for lack of a better word for it...it was one of those homemade ones with individual letter stickers) that said "Everybody has the right to be stupid but you are abusing the privelage."  No, I did not misspell that.  That's exactly how it read.  The irony in that was enough to make me chuckle.   If I was one of those kinds of people who actually have their phones with them at all times and also knows how to upload pictures off of an ancient dumbphone, I totally would have taken a pic to put on here.  You'll just have to take my word for it.

Warning: F-bomb inside!

Now, if I had had the time this afternoon and I was a little more psychotic, I totally would have hit that stupid-fucking-bitch-driven SUV and taught said driver the lesson that going right on red when another vehicle clearly has the right-of-way is not a good idea. (Whew!)  I am a firm believer in karma and I know she'll get hers eventually but I'm a little sad that I won't see it in action.

Cinderella Was a Lady

Ever since I was a kid I have been in awe of Cinderella.  She got to live happily ever after, and it took a lot of grace for her to not throw that into her stepsisters' faces.  I, however, prefer to let people know when they are on the bad end of karma. If it were me I would have said "Take that, bitches!!!"

We took the plunge...

...and bought a minivan today.  Yep, we're officially uncool now.  We said goodbye to Mark's Mazda 6 and hello to a Dodge Grand Caravan.  It was inevitable, really.  In practical terms, it makes a lot of sense for a family of 4 to have some space in their main vehicle.  Also, Mark needs a vehicle to haul his r/c airplanes in the summer(actually, that was the main reason). I put a plea on facebook for someone to send me a link to "Swagger Wagon" so we can get some cool back.  I wrote in the snow on the hood of my car when we got home...it says "Still Kelly's Rollerskate"* on it.  I would have taken a pic but my camera is missing.  'Scuse me while I go herd with the other sheep. ;)

*I drive a Hyundai Accent.  I could lift it if I tried.

Random Thoughts......

I've had some really random junk going on in my head lately.  Most of it is pretty stupid.  But here it is.

I was at the drive-through at Tim Horton's a while back.  They're definitely not my first choice for a coffee fix but it's closest to my work and they had pumpkin spice coffee.  But I digress.  They seem to have a rather large senior crowd there and the first thing that popped into my head was "Tim Horton's...Starbucks for the geriatric set."

If you're corresponding by letter to someone you don't care for all that much, shouldn't you be signing it "Insincerely"?

I'm pretty excited about 2 new holiday things that I get to share with Garrett this year:  Hannukah Harry and all the South Park Christmas episodes.  Appropriate?  Depends.  He's seen much worse, and I get to share my love of twisted humor.

I'm really wondering why Lucas finds flipping through my books so much more entertaining than flipping through his own. I mean, come on!  Mine don't even have doggies in them!

Giving Thanks

I used to think that the best part of Thanksgiving was all the food.  Man, do I ever love pie!!!  When I was a kid, I used to think that Thanksgiving was a time to remember the Pilgrims and the Native Americans coming together to feast.   I guess it still is, but now it is so much more to me.  Today, as I was at my sisters table while my mom said the prayer, I was thinking about what I have to be thankful for.  I can't even begin to start.  I live what I believe to be a very blessed life.  There are sooooo many people out there that are worse off than me.  For that,  I feel so undeserving.  Here's my attempt at putting it all in a nutshell....
Today and all other days I am thankful for the life that God has given me and for everyone that's in it.  And pie.

Election Day Tomorrow!

Yes, it's that time of year!  Time to get out and exercise our right to vote.  I will be doing so after work with my children in tow.  However, I'm getting reaaaaallllly annoyed with all the political ads and especially the slam ones.  And all the political phone messages!!!  Dang!!  I came home and had 5 on my machine.  One of them was in French.  I couldn't understand a frickin' word of it.

I won! I won!

So heeeeeere it is!  I won this tea sampler set from Love To Shop Mom.  It took a bit for me to get it and a few emails back and forth but it's here and I can't wait to finally try it!  Love to Shop Mom is a blog written by a lovely woman named Jamie.  Her site is mostly product reviews--both mom and non-mom related--with a bit of Mom stuff and personal stuff thrown in.  What I love most about her reviews is that she is very honest.  If she loves something, she tell you and if she hates something, she'll tell you that too!  If you want to check it out go here or click on the button on the side of this post.

Disclaimer:  Just so you know, I wasn't given anything to plug Love To Shop Mom.  I merely wanted to give Jamie a shout-out because I love her blog.

Long Time No Post

Two months!  That's how much time has passed since I last posted(well, almost).  A certain Lady Toesocks has been complainin' that I haven't posted in a long time.   Girl doesn't know I'm busy? Jeesh!  Anyway, today was the first day of school here and my oldest child is a seasoned back-to-schooler, so there wasn't a lot of hoopla about it here other than getting our junk together the night before.  In my household it just seems to work better with our getting ready for the day schedules  if the Mr. or I drive the boy to school.  This morning we were all ready to go and I was just finishing getting the little one ready when the school bus stopped at the neighbor's house.  So I said "Garrett, the bus is here!  Better hurry up and get on it!"  In most cases he would know I was joking since I've said that so many times before.   He replied "OK!" and I figure he's joking back.  A few minutes later, we're ready to go so I yelled for Garrett to get a move on.  There's no sign of him downstairs, so I checked upstairs.  Not there either.  I went outside.  Not there.  So I start yelling "GAARRRETTTTT!!!!!"  and I was starting to freak out a little.  My neighbor came outside and said "Are you looking for Garrett? He got on the bus."  "Oh, he wasn't supposed to go on there.  Thank you!"  I replied.   He went on the bus without me knowing!  How did I not see him go right by me?  So my attempt at humor was an epic fail and I managed to make myself look like an idiot in front of my neighbor.  Awesome.  You would think that after 10 years the kid would be used to my brand of sarcasm.   I'd fill y'all in on my summer but there's just not much to write about besides my anxiety trip(issue resolved, thank goodness!).  Also, I have some Oreos to dunk.

So this is what I've been up to lately...enjoying summer with the fam.  This has been a pretty fabulous summer weather-wise!  Quite an improvement from the rainy summer of last year, I must say.  This little heat wave that we're in the middle of, well that I can do without.  So today I say the greatest invention ever is air conditioning.  Gas grills come in at a close second.  I absolutely luuurve my grill, especially on busy summer days or on days when heating up the kitchen just isn't gonna happen.  I love being able to throw some meat on the grill, slap some sauce on it, throw together a salad of some sort and have it all done in less time than it takes to go for takeout.  Of course, I could do the same thing in the winter time on the George Foreman grill(another top notch invention).  But it's just not the same.  I know some diehards grill outside in the winter but I don't do cold.  Standing outside in the snow waiting for food to cook isn't my idea of a good time.
     In other news, Lucas repeated his first swear word today.  Not one of the finer milestones, but a milestone nonetheless.  Mama's gotta start watching those s-bombs!

Since I Haven't Posted in a Bit....

You've probably seen this if you're one of my Facebook buds, but if you're not(LadyToeSocks!!) This is called "Chuck Norris Your Friends" I decided to "Chuck Norris" my child instead. 

So anyway, yesterday was Family Fun Day at school.  Of course I had to single-parent it since Mark had to go to work.  We paid our $2 to get in and soon after I got ditched.   Apparently I am OK to hang with in a pinch but the second a friend shows up I'm dropped like a hot potato.  I've never felt more like a Mom than I did at that moment, and not necessarily in a good way.  Oh well.  I guess they'll be more where that came from.

More Pink.

See that pink bucket?  Apparently you can buy some chicken and help cure breast cancer at the same time!  Talk about killing 2 birds with 1 stone!(hehehe)...We were talking about this at work yesterday and I thought that a great slogan for this would be "Buy a breast, save a breast!"  Who's with me?